Polvoron's Blah Blah Corner

I've been wanting to write an article on breakups and moving on....(sigh! been there....so recently)... sigh!! I want to have a title, "Once There Was", yet I never had a chance to draft one...Though there are a lot of lines that I have to use...but hei...i just want to share it with you... A little disorganized...hmmm...

Everything we had was just a dream.I never expected it.I never thought it was bound to happen.I'm not prepared for it.I have to face it.I'm pressured to face my fears.I'm pressured to get over him.I thought everything's okay but I saw myself crying and feel sad over what happened.No matter how bitter I am, I still care for him.Even if I harbor this bitterness towards him, it won't change the situation. I don't know if this will test our relationship. If it will make us stronger or it's a sign to let go.I'm not used to experience hatred to another person who I used to selflessly love and sacrifice a lot.Suddenly, I do not know him.He was indifferent to me since he arrived.

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I asked God for sign...a white rose to hope that love will come back.Or a red rose to mean that I should end up hoping.I never saw any white roses, there were only red.Was it destiny? Was it a choice?There were blessings and a lot of good choices for me in exchange of a painful breakup.Doors of opportunities have opened for me.It was a surprise, that's why life is an everyday challenge.

Dreams will remain dreams. Promises will stay, never to be fulfilled.I feel so bad about myself...What is something that I done to him? Said? Anger...pity...pride...sadness...resentment...Forgiveness...

I can forgive but I can't forget.Forgiveness may take time...Forgiveness requires a complete healing of physical and emotional pain.Acceptance and trust...Lies...betrayal...Indifference...Hurting each other as an excuse to let go...

Until the very end, my hopes for a reconciliation will be realized.I never gave up.But he let go of me.Future seems so blurry.I love him.It still hurts. He continues to hurt me.But I set him free.I want him to be happy.

I submitted my miseries to God to let peace come within me.I faced my demon...my drazen...my agent smith.I survived.Tears welled up from his eyes, as I stared at him.I pierced through his soul but I can't get through.I stopped and controlled myself.Please, don't break down.Laughter, laughter.Until I bade him goodluck.He never said sorry.Until he told me that in spite of the lies he told meand disrespect he showed me, why am I stillso kind to him?

It's because of what I am. How I was brought up.How I treat people. How I am confortable doing it.A lot of people tell me, I was so strong.At the end of the day, I realized I am. And I thank God about it.

I thank God for family, they would always be there for you through the best and the worst times, be it near or far.I thank God for friends, whose little act of kindness uplifts my day and saves my soul.

It's okay to cry... coz in the end I'll be okay. Promise.